I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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