i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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