I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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