i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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