Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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