He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
