your parents love me but you hate me
Where is the hickey?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
