i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
