she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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