Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
