I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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