I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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