So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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