I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
