I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
COCAINE IS GR8
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
