i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
