So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
