made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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