the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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