That's when you crack a 10am beer
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
