You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
