We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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