thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
