Christians are straight up FREAKS
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
