saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
