Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
