We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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