Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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