i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
