So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
