remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize