Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
