Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
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