O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
