There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
