i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
a search helicopter?!
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
