Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
