New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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