Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
