I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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