all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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