I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
