You really coming over, don't trick.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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