Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
