i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
