Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
