can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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