It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
