Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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