i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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