just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
