Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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