you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
she told me i tasted like america
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
