Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
