Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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