At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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