How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
