her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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