I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
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