you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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