those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
