I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
